What a lovely article. There's a strong correlation between the energy you put out into the world and what you get back.
I often think that as I end up confirming a grumpy/aggressive person's expectation I'll be a bad customer, or confirming a kind/present persons's expectation I'll be a good one
I pedicabbed for five years, and the job is very much what you put into it.
You can be passive and low-effort, or you can be active and hustle rides by chatting up strangers. My roommate could squeeze blood from a stone when it came to persuading strangers to hop in her cab. She had a real talent for connecting with people and stretching out the ride in a way that was mutually beneficial for her (well paying) and the passengers (fulfilling concierge experience). In some ways she was like an escort you'd hire for good conversation at the bar. Minus the sexual expectations.
We all experienced bad actors (malevolent, drunk, immature, entitled) while working, but you can defuse the situation with finesse and charm, or you can bluntly and persistently deny them until they get worn down and steam off down the street to be someone else's problem.
I began as a largely introverted person and came to love the 5-15 minute window that I would have to get to know my clients while we traveled. It's a real captive audience and most people are down for the conversation and the connection. You learn how to listen and you learn to draw people out of their shells and be their best selves.
Some people were so great that on a few occasions I parked up my cab at our destination and spent the rest of the evening hanging out with them.
The job really rewards open-mindedness and a "yes, and" approach to dealing with people. Certain interactions with clients had a way of becoming very fun and adventurous if you kept an open mind and went along with your fares.
I need to learn a similar lesson. My team lead isn't used to being questioned, and when I tried to correct him in a meeting it resulted in a big argument. I realized that I did so partly because I wanted to demonstrate my own knowledge. We were both being egotistical. Certainly he could have handled it better, but I could have avoided the problem entirely by finding a more tactful framing rather than correcting him publicly.
I guess the generalized version is "it's easier to get what you want through compromise and avoiding conflict." Or just, "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar."
The fun part about that truism is that when actually tried. You find out the flies love vinager, Far more than honey, something about the smell?
It could be said the other way around, which is also true, the best way to get someone to respond is not a well structured question but by being wrong.
I was right about some things, he was right about others. It was not immediately clear which was which. Trying to say "wait that seems wrong" without knowing exactly what or why starts an argument and wastes the time of everyone in the meeting. If I'd just figured out the issue on my own and told the other engineers "oh by the way, we need to do it this way" it would probably have gone a lot smoother.
I wouldn't say it's about compromise, or even avoiding conflict as such. The first thing we must always remember is what is true, right, and just, for our own sake above all. One ought never to compromise morally - you have lost the bigger game by doing so - and conflicts are simply a matter of fact, so it's all a matter of avoiding pointless engagement in conflicts that don't serve the good.
Now, unreasonable and malicious people will transgress the moral, so the question is then: if I must deal with this person, how do I do so as fruitfully as possible?
What egotistical people don't realize is that their vanity is not a strength, but their weakest asset. Humility is a kind of invulnerability, so to speak, because all humility is is a disposition to recognize the truth and to conform to it. Egotistical leaders are highly motivated by a need for validation, for reputation, and for "glory". So, if your boss is egotistical, you should manage it and leverage that ego for the intended aim. Don't take things personally. Focus on the rational goal you are all aiming at. Plant seeds in conversations so that the leader can permit himself to think your ideas are actually his. Surrender the spotlight to him. Let him bask in the blinding limelight. Attention is a prison; if he wants it so badly, let him have it. Magnanimous men are above such things.
Never resort to trickery. This will burn you in the end, especially when the truth comes out. Never flatter or resort to adulation or sycophancy - it is smarmy, demeaning, and undignified; you see plenty of this in Trump's circle - but recognize actual strengths of the leader.
Maintain composure (do not react with fear or eagerness to please), distance, and politeness. Be patient: this allows the egotistical leader's passions to cool down, creating more space for the rational. Frame acknowledgement and concession to someone else's good ideas and advice not as a loss - which is how egotists see things - but as a magnanimous act on his part. Magnanimity is foreign to the egotist, but his love of reputation and a desire to be seen as magnanimous suffices for practical purposes.
Warning: An ad on this page (that I somehow accidentally tapped) redirected me to an “Apple Support” scam that was so nasty in its attempts to fire a tel: url to start a call, that tapping “Back” wasn’t possible. Beware of malware here.
What can I say, iPhone app webviews (the app I browse HN with uses the slide-up webview thing) are forced to use the Safari engine, whose content blockers barely function if they function at all.
Slightly related to the article. I have a personal cargo bike. The most fun that I have with it is giving friends a ride home from a party. People instantly start giggling and laughing. It's goofy, you get stares and people curious
I can relate but I've found it's really less about the people and more about my current state and how (in)frequent is my exposure to them.
I started renting a desk in a co-working space starting this year and there's a new guy here who conducts his meetings in the room instead of going to the conference booth and uses a pretty loud mechanical keyboard.
Half a year ago, when I was still working from home and not going out much, I would lose my shit. It's not that it's not annoying, I'm just a little bit desensitized to it.
I haven't yet read the essay, but I will jump at the opportunity to share my experiences working as a pedicab driver in Austin, TX for 5 years:
Pedicabbing is one of the most satisfying, fun, and rewarding jobs that I've ever had for a handful of reasons:
1. I had full autonomy to operate how I see fit. I work when I want, I retire when I want, I roam where I please, and I select (or deny) customers I want to serve. I can hustle as hard as I want to drum up work and persuade other to take a ride or I can sit passively and wait for people to approach me.
2. It taught me a lot about sales, negotiation, value-based fees, soft skills, being an entertainer, and showing people a good time.
3. I was pedaling for dollars and hauling up to three full-grown adults at a time. Sometimes uphill. The physical exertion gets easier, but remains challenging. Quite often I am doing the equivalent of high intensity interval training for 8 hours a day. By the end of a shift I am operating on a runner's high.
I got home every night at 3a, took a shower, and then passed out in bed like a stone. Then I rose and ate 1500 calories for breakfast. Not to mention my constant food intake while working.
Gallons of water would flow through me. Quite often the heat was so much that I'd go hours without the need for a bathroom break because it was all coming out through my skin.
4. I met a LOT of fascinating people and got to spend 5-15 minutes at a time getting to know them. Having good conversations. If we hit it off well enough I have it within my power to park up my cab and spend time with them. I've ended up spending entire nights hanging out with people who I really enjoyed. Off the clock.
5. If all else fails and work is slow that evening I still have a custom stereo strapped to my cab and (for a music lover like me) that is all I need to keep going. People had to listen to some WEIRD shit on my cab, and often I would meet people who were just as passionate as I am and want to share their favorites.
6. The job is improvisatory, surprising, and rewards those with an open mind and an eye for opportunity. Those with a "yes, and" mindset. If you're down for it, you can follow your nose to some wonderful surprises.
7. You get to know the city intimately. You take pride in navigating well and in a creative manner. Being a pedicab affords you a lot of flexibility in how you travel, that cars cannot access.
8. Your fellow pedicabbers. A very colorful bunch. People from all walks of life do the job. Artists, crusty punks, 65 year-olds, family-men (and women), students, athletes, entertainers, the fabulously extroverted. My friend was a marine biologist for the city whose day job had him out in the river in a wetsuit taking water samples and working in a lab by day, and he was pedaling for dollars on the weekend. One of us was a clerk at the Capitol and was studying law. A common thread amongst us were people who had alternate lifestyles and this was a good hustle that suited our needs.
Many of us were musicians. I originally got into the job because I did a lot of touring with my band throughout the year. I needed a job where I could hit the road for two months and then jump back in as soon as we got back into town.
I could go on, but the job was so much fun. It's not for everyone and it takes a certain type, but for my five years on the cab I wouldn't trade them for anything.
Haven't visited Oslo, but I thought Norway was largely a white-skinned population. Why would it be jarring to see a white person doing any kind of job, or are you referring to some kind of job division racism?
It's the classic racism/classism combo... a lot of taxi drivers are foreigners for example because it can be a stressful and low-paying job at the end of the day.
Yes, oddly compared to taxis my experience in the US with pedicabs is that they're almost all white men driving. More of a freewheeling low responsibility type of job rather than providing for a family type situation. I wonder what sort of social shift resulted in this?
If it's anything like the sport of bicycling in the USA, for a long time it's been a sport of caucasians, this is changing a bit but it trickles all the way up just from a sampling of who represents the USA at the Olympics and World Championships. Possibly a combination of the high cost of entry with the clique-ishness and the sport requiring quite a bit of free time and the support or money to have that much free time. Not talking about kids riding around the neighborhood but people who continue or start riding as adults, so not a social shift at all but existing demographics.
They're popular in London too. The scam seems to be that if tourists don't arrange the price beforehand, it'll be arbitrarily inflated - they don't run a meter like a licensed taxi.
Always ask for a quote. That means every ride, not every visit to that city. And confirm what methods of payment they can take before you get in. If they're evasive or you get a bad vibe, don't get in.
If you decide to change your destination, make sure you get an updated quote first, for your sake and the driver's.
As a pedicabber of five years this is solid advice. Negotiate before you depart. I always made it a point to get buy-in from my passengers before we took off. Nobody wants to be surprised.
What many people don't understand is that pedicabs are independent contractors in many cities. We have full autonomy to charge as we see fit. Sometimes pedicabbers will gouge and sometimes it means the passenger will be surprised by an otherwise reasonable fee.
(London perspective), I've intervened from tourists getting scammed before from these guys, and they get violent very quickly. Especially fun because they have their gang all around.
Unlicensed, unmaintained, motorized vehicles on pedestrian paths, a miracle no one has been killed yet.
It's kind of insane, and is a microcosm of the UK's inability to do anything.
- Everyone hates them, from residents, to businesses, to the tourists that get harassed by them.
- There are multiple laws, that if the police wanted to, they could enforce at any time.
- Nothing gets done.
It is an impressive level of apathy from an already toothless government.
Yes, much like how they've regulated delivery drivers. The person listed on the app is definitely the one that delivers, very effective.
I detest the concept that we need yet another "law" before we can actual enforce anything. There are plenty of laws being broken already, we should go and prosecute them before we start making up new ones to ignore.
It's not that easy. He had those little chains strung across the side exits and wouldn't remove them until I paid. I told him they don't let you out of Canada with that kind of cash but he didn't believe me and laid siege to my day while eating a slice of pizza like a taco. The worst thing was that this was my second mishap with non-combustion locomotion that day. ...I still swear that was not the real Secretariat and that Central Park isn't in New Jersey.
Hm. Ok, well, I guess we would have handled that differently.
I had something similar happen in Germany, on the way from the (international) airport to a hotel the driver started some kind of spiel that suddenly his banking machine had broken and he couldn't take card payments. My friend/colleague Jaap who was with me said we'd pay cash and I said no way, and after fiddling for a bit with his phone (mine wasn't a smartphone) gave the driver a different address. When we ended up in front of the police station the driver became a lot more friendly, drove us to the hotel instead and suddenly found that his banking machine had miraculously started working again...
I find that by giving in to such fraud I'm helping to perpetrate it so I've vowed not to let it happen, at the same time there is always a chance that such an interaction would turn violent. After all, they've already decided they want to steal from you. My weighing of this is that they have more to lose than me because I'm a transient and they are not.
If they don't let you out of a vehicle, that's kidnapping and / or extortion and a call to the police should resolve it quickly. In a functioning society, anyway.
Easy to say from the comfort of my terminal, but some urban advice:
Remove the chains and get out; most important is your freedom and safety. They aren't going to risk prison for assault and battery. If they give you trouble, call the police immediately. Take a photo of them and text it to a friend. Don't act intimidated no matter what; it just makes them think they are getting somewhere with you.
Then offer a reasonable fare. If they don't accept, offer to call the police and let law enforcement sort it out. They'll take the fare.
The problem with these is that they are often ran by actual gangs - if you try that, you will find yourself very quickly surrounded by multiple angry looking men who will not let you leave unless you pay.
I often think that as I end up confirming a grumpy/aggressive person's expectation I'll be a bad customer, or confirming a kind/present persons's expectation I'll be a good one
You can be passive and low-effort, or you can be active and hustle rides by chatting up strangers. My roommate could squeeze blood from a stone when it came to persuading strangers to hop in her cab. She had a real talent for connecting with people and stretching out the ride in a way that was mutually beneficial for her (well paying) and the passengers (fulfilling concierge experience). In some ways she was like an escort you'd hire for good conversation at the bar. Minus the sexual expectations.
We all experienced bad actors (malevolent, drunk, immature, entitled) while working, but you can defuse the situation with finesse and charm, or you can bluntly and persistently deny them until they get worn down and steam off down the street to be someone else's problem.
I began as a largely introverted person and came to love the 5-15 minute window that I would have to get to know my clients while we traveled. It's a real captive audience and most people are down for the conversation and the connection. You learn how to listen and you learn to draw people out of their shells and be their best selves.
Some people were so great that on a few occasions I parked up my cab at our destination and spent the rest of the evening hanging out with them.
The job really rewards open-mindedness and a "yes, and" approach to dealing with people. Certain interactions with clients had a way of becoming very fun and adventurous if you kept an open mind and went along with your fares.
I guess the generalized version is "it's easier to get what you want through compromise and avoiding conflict." Or just, "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar."
The fun part about that truism is that when actually tried. You find out the flies love vinager, Far more than honey, something about the smell?
It could be said the other way around, which is also true, the best way to get someone to respond is not a well structured question but by being wrong.
Now, unreasonable and malicious people will transgress the moral, so the question is then: if I must deal with this person, how do I do so as fruitfully as possible?
What egotistical people don't realize is that their vanity is not a strength, but their weakest asset. Humility is a kind of invulnerability, so to speak, because all humility is is a disposition to recognize the truth and to conform to it. Egotistical leaders are highly motivated by a need for validation, for reputation, and for "glory". So, if your boss is egotistical, you should manage it and leverage that ego for the intended aim. Don't take things personally. Focus on the rational goal you are all aiming at. Plant seeds in conversations so that the leader can permit himself to think your ideas are actually his. Surrender the spotlight to him. Let him bask in the blinding limelight. Attention is a prison; if he wants it so badly, let him have it. Magnanimous men are above such things.
Never resort to trickery. This will burn you in the end, especially when the truth comes out. Never flatter or resort to adulation or sycophancy - it is smarmy, demeaning, and undignified; you see plenty of this in Trump's circle - but recognize actual strengths of the leader.
Maintain composure (do not react with fear or eagerness to please), distance, and politeness. Be patient: this allows the egotistical leader's passions to cool down, creating more space for the rational. Frame acknowledgement and concession to someone else's good ideas and advice not as a loss - which is how egotists see things - but as a magnanimous act on his part. Magnanimity is foreign to the egotist, but his love of reputation and a desire to be seen as magnanimous suffices for practical purposes.
I started renting a desk in a co-working space starting this year and there's a new guy here who conducts his meetings in the room instead of going to the conference booth and uses a pretty loud mechanical keyboard.
Half a year ago, when I was still working from home and not going out much, I would lose my shit. It's not that it's not annoying, I'm just a little bit desensitized to it.
Pedicabbing is one of the most satisfying, fun, and rewarding jobs that I've ever had for a handful of reasons:
1. I had full autonomy to operate how I see fit. I work when I want, I retire when I want, I roam where I please, and I select (or deny) customers I want to serve. I can hustle as hard as I want to drum up work and persuade other to take a ride or I can sit passively and wait for people to approach me.
2. It taught me a lot about sales, negotiation, value-based fees, soft skills, being an entertainer, and showing people a good time.
3. I was pedaling for dollars and hauling up to three full-grown adults at a time. Sometimes uphill. The physical exertion gets easier, but remains challenging. Quite often I am doing the equivalent of high intensity interval training for 8 hours a day. By the end of a shift I am operating on a runner's high.
I got home every night at 3a, took a shower, and then passed out in bed like a stone. Then I rose and ate 1500 calories for breakfast. Not to mention my constant food intake while working.
Gallons of water would flow through me. Quite often the heat was so much that I'd go hours without the need for a bathroom break because it was all coming out through my skin.
4. I met a LOT of fascinating people and got to spend 5-15 minutes at a time getting to know them. Having good conversations. If we hit it off well enough I have it within my power to park up my cab and spend time with them. I've ended up spending entire nights hanging out with people who I really enjoyed. Off the clock.
5. If all else fails and work is slow that evening I still have a custom stereo strapped to my cab and (for a music lover like me) that is all I need to keep going. People had to listen to some WEIRD shit on my cab, and often I would meet people who were just as passionate as I am and want to share their favorites.
6. The job is improvisatory, surprising, and rewards those with an open mind and an eye for opportunity. Those with a "yes, and" mindset. If you're down for it, you can follow your nose to some wonderful surprises.
7. You get to know the city intimately. You take pride in navigating well and in a creative manner. Being a pedicab affords you a lot of flexibility in how you travel, that cars cannot access.
8. Your fellow pedicabbers. A very colorful bunch. People from all walks of life do the job. Artists, crusty punks, 65 year-olds, family-men (and women), students, athletes, entertainers, the fabulously extroverted. My friend was a marine biologist for the city whose day job had him out in the river in a wetsuit taking water samples and working in a lab by day, and he was pedaling for dollars on the weekend. One of us was a clerk at the Capitol and was studying law. A common thread amongst us were people who had alternate lifestyles and this was a good hustle that suited our needs.
Many of us were musicians. I originally got into the job because I did a lot of touring with my band throughout the year. I needed a job where I could hit the road for two months and then jump back in as soon as we got back into town.
I could go on, but the job was so much fun. It's not for everyone and it takes a certain type, but for my five years on the cab I wouldn't trade them for anything.
If you decide to change your destination, make sure you get an updated quote first, for your sake and the driver's.
What many people don't understand is that pedicabs are independent contractors in many cities. We have full autonomy to charge as we see fit. Sometimes pedicabbers will gouge and sometimes it means the passenger will be surprised by an otherwise reasonable fee.
Always discuss before you depart.
Unlicensed, unmaintained, motorized vehicles on pedestrian paths, a miracle no one has been killed yet.
It's kind of insane, and is a microcosm of the UK's inability to do anything.
- Everyone hates them, from residents, to businesses, to the tourists that get harassed by them.
- There are multiple laws, that if the police wanted to, they could enforce at any time.
- Nothing gets done.
It is an impressive level of apathy from an already toothless government.
https://tfl.gov.uk/info-for/media/press-releases/2026/februa...
I detest the concept that we need yet another "law" before we can actual enforce anything. There are plenty of laws being broken already, we should go and prosecute them before we start making up new ones to ignore.
I had something similar happen in Germany, on the way from the (international) airport to a hotel the driver started some kind of spiel that suddenly his banking machine had broken and he couldn't take card payments. My friend/colleague Jaap who was with me said we'd pay cash and I said no way, and after fiddling for a bit with his phone (mine wasn't a smartphone) gave the driver a different address. When we ended up in front of the police station the driver became a lot more friendly, drove us to the hotel instead and suddenly found that his banking machine had miraculously started working again...
I find that by giving in to such fraud I'm helping to perpetrate it so I've vowed not to let it happen, at the same time there is always a chance that such an interaction would turn violent. After all, they've already decided they want to steal from you. My weighing of this is that they have more to lose than me because I'm a transient and they are not.
Remove the chains and get out; most important is your freedom and safety. They aren't going to risk prison for assault and battery. If they give you trouble, call the police immediately. Take a photo of them and text it to a friend. Don't act intimidated no matter what; it just makes them think they are getting somewhere with you.
Then offer a reasonable fare. If they don't accept, offer to call the police and let law enforcement sort it out. They'll take the fare.